Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize