i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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