Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
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So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
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