dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize