Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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