Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize