I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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