i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize