i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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