Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Two words: nipple clamps
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