I feel great
I just peed on a car
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize