We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
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