You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just googled if crying burns calories
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Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
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There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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