Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize