Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
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Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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