i think my tv is drunk
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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