the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
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Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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