While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize