I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize