I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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