chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize