Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
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He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
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How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize