As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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