I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Two words: blizzard sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize