the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize