Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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