I'm really into asian looking animals
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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