Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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