the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I need water and some morals
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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