1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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