drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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