and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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