you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ate ashes out of my bong
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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