I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize