Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize