my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you inspire me to be a worse person
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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