What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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