The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize