u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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