Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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