It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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just found out that she named her cat after me.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Randomize