i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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