Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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