do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
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I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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