if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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