I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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