i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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