her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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