clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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