you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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